My friend, a shaiyri enthusiast, wrote this poetry days before he committed suicide by jumping into river Neelum

His family, friends (including me) & others in his circle thought of it as a joke, we laughed it off teasing him as “love story ka emotional hero”. Little did we know he would do what we deemed improbable. Please, don’t take the suicidal intentions of someone as a joke, never ever! If you come across someone with such thoughts, get them all the support you can, your vigilance might save someone’s life, a someone who is a loved one of many.

ہوا کا جھونکا ہوں، عازمِ سفر ہوا چاہتا ہوں
حال سے میری نہیں بن پائی، ماضی کی خبر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Hawa ka jhonka hoon aazm-e-safar hoa chahta hun

Haal se meri nahi ban payi, mazi ki khabar hoa chahta hoon

( A waft of wind I am, it’s about time I went on my journey

Couldn’t get on terms with present, a part of past hence I become)

مصائبِ زندگانی سے بھلا کب تک لڑے کوئی
تھکن سے چُور ہوں، سپردِ سکون تا حشر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Masaib e zindagani se bhala kab tak laday koi?

Thakan se choor hoon, supurd e sukoon ta-hashar hoa chahta hoon

( I don’t hold the power to defeat all the demons life unleashes

I am tired fighting this fight, now I go sleeping in eternal peace’s lap)

بلکتی شام سنا رہی ہے خزاں کی آمد کا پیغام
میں ایک زرد سوکھا پتا قربانِ راہگزر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Balakti sham suna rahi hai khazaan ki aamad ka peghaam

Main ek zard sookha pata, qurbaan-e-rehguzar hoa chahta hoon

( The sobbing of evening is a sign of autumn’s arrival

A separated maple leaf I am, now I go lay on a pathway)

یہ ہوا تو کیا ہوگا؟ یوں نہ ہوا تو کیا ہوگا؟
فکرِ عمر بہت ہوئی، اب میں بے فکر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Yeh hoa to kya hoga? Yun na hoa to kya hoga?

Fikar-e-umar bohot hoi, ab main befikar hoa chahta hoon

( What if this happens? What if this doesn’t?

Enough of this mundane worrying, I now won’t ever be worried again)

یہاں گھٹن زدہ تاریکی، وہاں پُرخمار صبح
بادِ سحر کی یہ جاودانی، اسکے زیرِ اثر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Yahan ghutan zada tareeki, wahan pur khumaar subah

Baad e sehar ki yeh javedani, iske zer-e-asar hoa chahta hoon

( The cruel bleakness here, but on the other end I see a glorious dawn

This forever-lasting morning breeze, intoxicated I become by it )

مداوا ان تکالیف کا اب نہ ہو پائے شائد
مرضیِ تقدیر کے منظورِ نظر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Madawa in takaleef ka ab na ho paye shayad

Marzi e taqdeer ke manzoor e nazar hoa chahta hoon

( With the abundance of sorrows, I see no solution in sight

Hence I give in to this will of fate I can’t alter )

میرے وجود سے سٹپٹانے والے اب کُھل کے چہچہا لیں
تمہارے عالیشان گھر سے دربدر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Mere wajood se satpatanay wale, ab khul ke chehchaha lein

Tumhare aalishaan ghar se dar badar hoa chahta hoon

( Many who couldn’t bear my presence, you can now rejoice

For that I am leaving your fancy home a homeless)

جہانِ عارضی سے جا رہا ہوں، دلوں سے نہیں
پہلے صرف زندہ تھا، آج امر ہوا چاہتا ہوں

Jahaan-e-aarzi se ja raha hoon, dilon se nahi

Pehle sirf zinda tha, aaj amar hoa chahta hoon

( Leaving this momentary world I’m, not the hearts of my beloved

Alive I was before, immortal in your memories I now become)


It hit me :broken_heart::pleading_face:


Its melt my heart😥

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May it never happen to anyone again. I still haven’t forgiven myself for making light of his legitimate suffering.


Let’s spread suicide awareness so that something like this never hits anyone again.


I don’t know itni bewafai q barh gae h Allah subko hidayat day

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This is so heart breaking :broken_heart:. It really is high time that we promote basic mental health literacy about sucidal behaviours and debunk the stigma associated with openly discussing it with a professional or a dear one.


so beautifully written. each and every word seeped through my heart. :cry:I can feel the pain he must have gone through.
May he find peace in Jannah :worried:

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Couldn’t agree more. The removal of stigma attached to mental health & disorders shall save umpteen lives. It could’ve saved his too had he the access to a psychologist or a psychiatrist.


Ameen. I have had people tell me he committed suicide, now he can’t go to heaven. I refuse to believe that, the kind soul & compassionate human he was, he certainly would. He was just too wounded, too battered to make sane decisions. God shall definitely show mercy to him. He is the most merciful, after all.

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Indeed Allah is the most forgiving… In Sha Allah he will make it to Jannah

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Oo really sad … This is the problem we don’t understand others, their opinion, their need …
But this is our mistake we should not begg from people but Allah. Indeed Allah is the only one who secretly knw everything but he waited for to call him .

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Allah​:broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:. May he be granted higher ranks in Janat-ul-firdous for what he had suffered, Ameen. You have highlighted an important matter. I hope everyone understands that mental health is a prime part of happy life. May Allah grant us the ability to help such​:sob:


Absolutely right. Mutual understanding can prevent calamities from occurring. If only we understood that.

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Ameen. I have held onto this for as long as I can remember, I see it in my drawer everyday but I could never, for the life of me, muster the courage to read, let alone share it with others until today.

Makes me feel a little better an important issue was highlighted. His life couldn’t be saved, maybe this insignificant effort would potentially save someone’s.

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Jahan e arzi sy ja raha hu dil sy nhi💔

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In Sha Allah this will, you have done it right🖤 it’s not easy to get over memories of people you love but the truth is you’ve only memories left in the last💔 this is what life is…

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life not always kind to us it gave u regret it also gave u lesson, learn it make urself better person

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Would do. That’s the only betterment posssible now that he’s not coming back. I shall make sure the lesson life taught us all doesn’t go in vain.

it’s really sad… :frowning_face_with_open_mouth::broken_heart:
He was talented… :cherry_blossom:

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