The word ‘Narcissistic’ is used for an individual who is arrogant and self-obsessed however the truth is significantly more complicated and excruciating for them and particularly for individuals around them. We can say that individuals experiencing Narcissistic Personality Disorder have a grandiose image of themselves, this self-portrait permits them to hide their empty insecure core.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a behavior of selfish, arrogant, and manipulative patterns that lacks empathy for others with many traits of patronizing, cocky, and demanding attitudes. These people desperately need recognition and control. In their stories, they are heroes or victims and nothing in between. They firmly believe that they are special, extraordinary, and superior to everyone. If they are criticized, they react with anger and aggression. These people cannot love anyone, not even their own children. It is all about their false image and will do anything to maintain it. To become the protagonist of their own story, they often minimize the virtues and achievements of others. People may misunderstand their grandiosity with charm and confidence but the reality is that they are extremely insecure and empty to the core.
I hope you are not dealing with this kind of energy vampire at your workplace, among your friends, or worst in your family; someone who shatters your dream, invalidate your existence, and make you question your self –worth. If you have this kind of person in your life, you might be dealing with a narcissistic person.
Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
An individual should meet at any 5 of the following indications to be considered a narcissist.
- Has an exaggerated sense of self-importance; always present one’s accomplishment in a grandiose way while demeaning others’ efforts. They strive for recognition of superiors without special achievement and want to connect with people of high status.
- To escape their reality they become a victim of self-deception and live in the fantasy world of power, wealth, success, beauty, and love life.
- They feel entitled, have unreasonable expectations of special treatment, and need excessive applause.
- Exploits others and manipulates them for their personal gain.
- They lack empathy and choose not to connect with other people’s emotions. They only consider other’s emotions if they benefit them.
- They are always jealous of others and believe that others are jealous of them too.
- Regularly display haughty, arrogant, and rude behavior.
If you think you have a narcissistic person in your home, whether they are your siblings or your parents; the best option is to move out, unfortunately. Work is like a vacation, and overtime is all that is needed to dodge a certain family member. Unfortunately, not everyone has a healthy relationship with their siblings, spouses, or even parents. Yes, some fathers have unrealistic expectations of their children and force their children to comply, if not the child is rejected, or mothers, yes, mothers who manipulate their children to fulfill their struggle with insecurities.
Unfortunately, we have to remember that there is no permanent solution for this narcissist except to get rid of them or, in the worst case, break the bond with them.
In most narcissistic families, the focus is on one or both the parent and the children need to adjust to the mindset and mood of the parent, as the family model provides support to the parent when the focus should be the child’s development.
This results in dysfunctional families due to constant psychological, emotional, verbal, and even physical abuse. The relevant abuse is then denied; there is secrecy, neglect, lack of respect for boundaries, and continuous conflict.
This dysfunctional family has many rules that are passed down from generation to generation. They are strict, unreasonable, and uncompromising. If you grew up in a narcissistic house, you might be familiar with these unspoken rules, unfortunately.
- You are conditioned to be accepted:
- Submission to the narcissist is a necessity
- Someone should be blamed and scapegoated
- You cannot be vulnerable
- You must pick upsides
- Family members are thirsty for respect and love
- Emotions are for the weak
- Non-Cooperation and competitive environment exists among siblings
- There is a false image to be portrayed
- Rage of the narcissist parent is normalized
- There is a rampant denial of all the abusive acts
- There Is No Safety and security in the relationship:
How to deal with narcissistic family members:
Narcissists are really unacceptable because their constant malicious act takes away all positivity. They manipulate you, verify you and isolate you. The best possible solution to limit their participation in your life.
Do not react:
The best way to deal with them is by not responding to their drama and the tantrums they cause. It can be very difficult, but it’s the only option.
Treat them like children:
They scream and become violent when things don’t go as planned. They purposely push people’s buttons to receive attention. Hence, you don’t have to take them seriously for your own peace of mind.
Model a good behavior:
Yes, you have to be patient and treat this difficult person in the most positive way possible. Sometimes a simple “no” can work because the narcissist wants you to be agitated and you need to be calm.
Know your limits:
Remember that narcissistic behavior is an option and you cannot always be polite and put up with their stunts. Often you have to take drastic steps because it comes down to your own sanity. Know when you have to give up on that relationship.